To Knit To Love To Laugh is Life

External circumstances keep us bracing for calamities. Prices keep going up and our bank account keeps going down. Millions try to out guess the stock market. It always seems that the world is on the brink of extinction. More and more countries are developing the bomb that could end it all for mankind. More world leaders seem to have an itchy trigger finger.

We keep looking at the circumstances that have to be dealt with, but the strength for living comes from within. Stability requires a settled philosophy of life. We must have our own standards that guide us. Solid value systems, personal boundaries, spiritual faith, and confidence cannot be easily shaken.

Never go beyond your personal values and boundaries. Integrity requires staying within established guidelines. Resist the urge of being dishonest to make an extra buck. It will come back to haunt you. Dishonesty may gain momentarily, but will backfire when people realize what is happening. It will lessen your spiritual faith, and cause you to think less of yourself.

Having strong faith in the loving, God of heaven gives one the peace and assurance that every thing is under control. It is not possible to know what will happen next, but we can know the one who controls the future. We have the promise that all things will work for the good of those who love and obey him.

To accomplish your goals you must be single-minded. A double-minded person is unstable in all activity. Such a person has no settled principles. He or she is wavering or inconstant, controlled by passion; influenced by popular feeling, inclined first by one opinion or course of conduct, and then to another

Success comes by methodical and consistent application of planned procedure. Being single-minded does not mean that one cannot be flexible. It simply means that one plan at a time must be focused on. If it becomes clear that the course must be changed to go around obstacles that can be done

Concentrate on one project at a time. You cannot pursue two endeavors in opposite directions. Few can successfully manage two parallel undertakings. Most of us have one-tract minds. We have to do one thing at a time. It is a known fact that most automobile accidents are caused by being distracted by something besides driving. This demonstrates the danger of too many projects. Get one well established before starting another.

You must have passion for success, but not be controlled by negative emotions. Listen to doubts just long enough to correct the flaws and then move on with the procedure. Do not be swayed by the opinion of others. There are often nay-sayers on the sideline, but that just means they do not have to the courage to start their own project. Do not jump from one plan to another without giving the first one time to work.

When it becomes evident that your plan is falling short of success, it is time to rethink it. Unforeseen obstacles often occur. It may simply mean a minor adjustment or slight change in direction to correct. If it fails, do not look at it as tragedy, but a learning experience. Everything that happens teaches a lesson if you analyze it carefully. The plan may have failed but you have not unless you quit trying.

People climbing high are told not to look down. The same precaution is advisable for those upset by external circumstances. Observe them but do not let them cause panic. The power to deal with problems comes from within. You may need to react to them, but if you are well educated, look within yourself to analyze and rely on your gut feelings. If not well educated, take steps to learn what is needed.

Gratitude, Goal, Action

In all conditions, whether of a financial, health, relationship or emotional nature, there are three simple things and easy things you can use immediately to heal and change the condition and the governing pattern.

To move out of a difficult or even painful situation, you must focus on what you want. Stop thinking about what you don't want. The more you think about the painful, dark or fearful aspects, the worse the situation will inevitably become. Think always about what you want. Keep your mind on the most positive outcome. You can form a specific goal, and many say this is the quickest to get to where you want to go. Create a deadline, and then think about it constantly. Picture it in your mind. Think about how you'll feel. What does it feel like to feel like a million bucks, for instance? How does it feel to be in love with someone who treasures and adores you? How does it smell to be sitting behind the wheel of your new car? Cut out pictures. Take note of all similar things you see out in the world. But even if you find you just cannot think about a specific goal, then often, simply thinking about general positive change in your situation can work wonders to turn things around fairly quickly.

The second most useful thing you can do is to be grateful for everything you have. We all know the half-empty, half-full cup theory. If you focus on the half empty (what you don't have) cup, you'll very soon have a totally empty cup. If you focus on the half full (what you do have) cup, you'll very soon see your cup "running over!" Be grateful for your life, your breath, your physical body, no matter its shape. Be grateful for the positive qualities of your family and friends. Be grateful for information that comes to you in books, from a teacher or mentor. And most important of all, be grateful for adversity, and for people who are less than kind or even hateful, rude or hurtful to you. See the possibilities and benefits in every situation, person and challenge with which you are faced. Ask yourself, "What is the benefit?" Or, "How can I best use this?" Gratitude is a positive emotion, which releases positive brain chemicals, which, in turn, increases your health and vitality and inner joy.

So, you're grateful or at least accepting with where you are, and now you want to try something more or different or better. You're grateful; you have a goal for your next step. Now comes time to take some action. If you can plan for the most efficient action, fabulous! But, any positive action at all will lift you above negativity, fear, anxiety, and depression. Though everyone has these times, and it is part and parcel of our life process, staying stuck there can be devastating for us and for those near to us. So, as best you can, just take some action! Take a walk, even if just around the block. Call a friend, or the bill collector, or begin writing. Take your kids to the park. Go test drive that car you've been wanting. Sign up to volunteer a few hours a week. Mail a check to your favorite world project. Make a difference. Take an action!

Knowing where you want to go with gratitude for where you are begins the process. Action begins to move your plan into actual manifestation. The grand thing is, once you take a step, you will have the energy and enthusiasm when you are shown the next step and then the next one. Then, one day your dream will be standing right in front of you. You will own it. It is yours already in mind. And your mind is the most powerful tool you have.

When I was younger I remember hearing jokes about Great Aunt Gert who could have joined the circus as the bearded woman, or saw some unfortunate female on the street sporting what looked like a teenage boy's pathetic attempt at a mustache. I always felt a vague kind of pity for such women, being the butt of cruel and unjust jokes, and sighing with relief that I wasn't similarly afflicted.

As I grew older, I heard the occasional menopausal woman mention things like facial hairs, and just assumed, like the millions of women that have gone before me, that it was just an unlucky few who suffered those affects during middle age. It never dawned on me that rather than being a rarity,extra facial hair is a common factor once a woman reaches that "certain age". It is in fact rare that a woman going through the change, doesn't have some kind of facial hair issue.

As a teenager I was blessed with fair hair and was never like those poor girls in my school who had to utilise sheep shears to keep their legs and armpits groomed. A friend of mine said that she used a vacuum cleaner to brush her legs in the morning, before her mother allowed her to start shaving. I think she singly kept the Gillette company going during the 1980s.

In my 20s and into my 30s, whenever a male friend started growing a mustache or forgot to shave, I would jokingly comment that I had been trying for several years to grow a mustache of my own, and I would laugh out loud. Regrettably, now I'm in my 40s, I think am at last making some progress in this area.

The whole menopausal thing didn't really hit home with me until I looked in the mirror one night about the time I turned 41. I stared in horrified fascination at the black hair sprouting merrily from my chin. My mind refused to accept what it was seeing. About 2cm in length, the strand stuck out like a thumb trying to hitch a lift. I wrenched it from my face and drowned it in the sink. Three weeks later it came back, looking none the worse. So once again I pulled it from my skin, vowing to keep a more vigilant look-out for the hairy stray and three weeks later it came back. The next time it returned though, it brought a friend.

Those little chin hairs are a mystery though. They seem to spring up overnight as if someone had sprinkled hair fertiliser on my chin. Now that I come to think of it, perhaps that's why it's called "fur"tiliser. And while I have been lucky so far in avoiding the monobrow, I think someone is sprinkling special fertiliser on my eyebrows. Recently I started to notice what I like to lovingly call, demented brow hair springing out at attention above my eyes. These evil looking things are long, thick and crinkly, and they grow straight out from my face as if reaching for the sun. While all of my other eyebrow hairs are laying flat like good little eyebrows are supposed to, this diabolical hair sticks out as if I'm trying to get better reception by installing my own personal antennae.

But alas, I fear worse is yet to develop. I have a slightly turned-up kind of nose, and in the last few years have started becoming quite paranoid about the possibility of one day having to use one of those nifty little nose-hair trimmers thingees. I can just imagine receiving one of those little tools of torture some Christmas in the future from a well-meaning middle-aged friend who will think she is doing me some great favour, as she hands it to me with a wink and a nudge. It seems that I have joined some secret women's society without even knowing that I'd sent in an application form.

Now! Just For Laughs

Remember when we were kids? We would do funny things just for laughs. We laughed at just about anything. Laughing was fun! Well, what ever your reasons are for lack of laughter, here are three key proven health benefits of laughter.

First, laughter boosts the immune system.
Simplify stated, the immune system is what all humans and living organism have to recognize and reject all substances foreign to themselves. When we laugh it has an effect on our immune response. So, As a result of a good belly laugh, we can improve our health.

Second, Laughter reduces pain by stimulating the release of endorphins, a natural substance found in the brain and other parts of the body to kill pain. They can be more potent than equivalent amounts of morphine. They act as strong pain killer by interacting with the central nervous system to send a message to the brain with the instruction to relieve our discomfort to pain.

Last, laughter dissolves negative feeling. Feeling like, distrust, rejection, anger, and depression. When we are engaged in laughter, we force change to our biochemical state to release the necessary chemical balance to give us a sense of happiness. We can avoid health problems such as, high blood pressure, upset stomach, headaches, stroke, rashes and heart disease by making laughter a part of your daily activity.

So, have it! You can feel healthier and happier when you incorporate laughter into your daily activity to stimulated your immune response, reduced pain, and dissolved negative feeling.

As a gym owner, I can tell you that it is a very rewarding business, offering people a nice place to workout and also seeing people making positive changes in their health and their lives; it is a dream come true. In this business we see how exercise affects people physically and emotionally but we also see how peoples emotions affect how or even if they exercise.

Let me give you an example. The other day a woman came in to check out the gym. Immediately after the greetings were over she told me how she hated to exercise and then as I gave her a tour I heard a list a reasons on why she didn't think she could do it. Now, don't get me wrong I'm glad she came in because these are the type of people that we really like to help, but her attitude may very well cause her to fail. We hear things like this all the time whether it be people saying 'I hate it' or 'I can't do it' or 'I'm too out of shape to do that class' or 'I'm just not motivated'.

This gets me to thinking about the way we talk to ourselves. Negative self-talk is very self-destructive and yet some people can be very negative with themselves. If you tell yourself that you hate something than how can you expect a positive result? I'm a firm believer that your fitness routine needs to start in your head. If you tell yourself you can't, you won't. If you tell yourself that you are not capable, you will never be capable. If you put exercise at the bottom of your priority list, it will stay there.

Instead, tell yourself that you deserve to workout and feel good. Look at exercise as a gift you give to yourself. Tell yourself that you will do your very best and then do your best, whatever that is, and be proud! Tell yourself that you want to have more energy; the list goes on and on.

I think there are several reasons why people talk themselves out of working out and I think they are based in fear. If you tell yourself that you are going to start an exercise routine, you may be afraid that you will not stick with it and sometimes that is too big a risk to take. Other people may be afraid of the environment and feel that they don't belong. All I can say is that every single person started somewhere and just because someone you see is in good shape doesn't mean that they were always that way. They very well may have started out in poor physical shape.

Another common fear is the realization that this is a lifestyle, not something to do for a couple of months and then stop. Fear of commitment is common. This is where that positive self-talk comes in handy. You know logically that exercise is going to make you feel better, stay healthy, relieve stress, look better and improve the quality of your life. These are just some of the positive reinforcements that you can give yourself in a moment of weakness.

I am no stranger to these struggles. I remember times in my own life when I told myself that 'I worked all day, I deserve to go home and relax' when in actuality I felt 100% better when I started adding exercise to my routine. So the next time you start to talk yourself out of going out for a walk or going to the gym ask yourself what you are really trying to avoid and why. Ask yourself what you want to do for yourself…nothing or something wonderful!

Everyone has their own idea of what they consider funny. I believe that humour depends on the mood you are in. Sometimes what you think is funny today may cause you to be annoyed another day. Perhaps humour is a subjective thing that feeds off of a persons ability to relax and respond naturally.

I know that when you have a good belly laugh as it is called you forget everything temporarily. When you put your heart and sole into laughing at something it is good for anxiety, stress and depression. The endorphins released in the brain act on your mood. I personally have experienced this when watching a comedic movie. I really do not usually watch these types of movies but whenever I do I get the same reaction in my mood. I feel happier and cannot believe I am having such a good time.

How would a person who is suffering from anxiety and other traumatic issues even get to the point of watching a movie that was funny? Feeling anxious, panicky, depressed and stressed usually does not make you want to sit and watch something funny.

I would invite someone to join me for the movie at home on the television or I would offer to take him or her out to the theatre and pay his or her admission. Perhaps getting a group of friends together and going to a comedy club would be a suggestion. Just getting the person occupied and involved with something other than their problems would be a diversion and help give them some relief from their situation. Even if they did not laugh outwardly and you seemed to be dragging them along, I feel that getting up and moving and being distracted can and has worked for me when I felt depressed.

In other words I feel that humour is the best medicine and although it is not the total answer to all of our life problems it does give us a safe way to escape temporarily the moments in life that we needs help with.If you look around you there is something funny going on at least once a day. Add humour to your other techniques when working on anxiety and panic. It takes repetition and a desire to change for something to become a habit. I have read that twenty-one days is the usual time for a change to occur when a person is motivated by emotion. Associate the behaviour you want to change with an emotion. This is a powerful tool to use in combination because these two things impress the change you want into your subconscious mind.

Put one funny joke, movie, story or recognize those situations that can come up unexpectedly in your daily routine. Maybe you will be the one who is providing the comic relief for someone else and helping him or her forget the anxiety they have for a moment. Doing something for someone else is also a way to feel good about you.Laughing at and with yourself even when you are alone or in a crowd is a way of getting to know, care and value yourself.

"It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. "
J.K. Rowling

Our choices revel who we really are. This is as true with happiness as it is with all other facets of our lives!

Our choices reveal our values, beliefs, ideals and our boundaries.

The world values us by what we value most.

If we cherish truth, goodness, kindness, caring, compassion, charity and concern for others, the world sees us in a very specific light.

If we primarily value power, control, superiority, force and might the universe treats us in a very different way.

Our values are revealed by our choices and our choices show who we truly are.

People who truly value the happiness of others and the happiness of the world as a whole are the only ones who ever find true happiness themselves.

True happiness never comes from inflicting misery on others or from gaining from other people's pain. Taking joy in other people's misery is evil and warps and distorts our sense of goodness and all that is wonderful in the world.

Study happy people to learn how to be happy yourself. You will see that truly happy people are never evil, they are guided by goodness, generosity, love, caring and compassion. They continually focus on doing their best and being their best. Love propels their work, their lives, their commitments to others and their happiness.

They live by the highest and best values and beliefs. Their minds and lives are founded and grounded in honesty, virtue, goodness and truth. The universe rewards people who try to do good things well.

People who choose greed, self seeking and malicious manipulation over integrity, compassion and goodness are happiest when they beat somebody. When they don't win they are miserable. They must feel superior to feel good about themselves. This is the path to stress, emptiness and even when it brings material gains, an empty life.

Love propels happiness. Without love and goodness there is no happiness. Look around and see if the wicked seem truly happy to you. Most seem pretty shallow, sad, weak, empty and insecure.

When you do your best your conscience is clear. You do not feel ashamed and you do not worry the truth will be exposed. Choose to live by only the very highest and best values to be truly happy.

How long is a day?

The right viewpoint not only makes clear the small size of this world in relation to the whole plan of creation; it shows the unimportance of time.

To inhabitants of earth there is some value in the measure of years. But to a person who lives in harmony with the laws of nature, there can be no such thing as the duration of time measured in increments of a few hundred years. They know that it took 3 billion years to reduce the temperature of a planet to allow life forms to exist; and they know that, after the planet loses warmth, it cannot sustain life; after which it requires 3 billion more years to bring it to a state were the sun will absorb it and start the life making process all over again. No planet can sustain life more than a few million years, and yet billions of years are required to make the brief living period possible. This is a real perspective on life.

Billions of years must pass in the evolution of our planet Natural law encourages you to see things in true viewpoint, in universal time. Then a day is not perceptible, nor a year, as that is merely one revolution of the earth around the sun. Nothing complete happens in the universe in that earthly year. Only the smallest fragment of something occurs. A century of time on this globe is but a fraction of a second in the universal period. This is real, a fact that helps put life in perspective, and now the universal viewpoint in nature begins to mean something.

If a person can be true to this viewpoint, they will see that our planet eventually grows cold and gets drawn into the mass of the sun. So all the hard work we are doing to make this a better place, will, and must eventually become a waste of time. All our efforts will be burnt in the heat of the sun, along with those beings who are still here, worrying about sustainable growth, organic crops and humanitarian expressions. It'll be the ultimate war to see who can get off the planet before it cooks in the heat of the sun.

A person who really studies Universal Law will acknowledge that this intense heat will destroy the earth, send the dust back out into space (the real meaning of ashes to ashes – dust to dust) and then from this dust new planets will be formed. They will take shape again under different conditions and eventually cool down enough for new worlds to become populated with new beings, and eventually those worlds will cool off once more, lose all the life, get drawn to the sun and so repeat the cycle. This is all part of a days work in universal time.

Can you grasp it? It is written many times in history. The earth was created in 7 days. But these aren't human days, they are galactic days. Each day in universal time is 3 billion years of earth time. That's 21 billion years of earth time to create a week in universal time. This is the exact amount of time scientist confirm that it takes for a planet such as ours to form from universal dust.

So your lifespan in universal time is virtually immeasurable. In that fragment of time, you are born pass-through into youth, then arrive at death. Three or four generations of humans still can't be measured against the huge clock that tics in the universe, natures time line.

This is the essential perspective for personal harmony. With natures perspective you'll laugh at the idea of people who don't do what they love or who spend time worrying and struggling for righteousness and superiority. All for a whole single milli-second span in universal time. Yet that is what we have been doing for years here on earth. We think we have cares and that the ultimate aim is to get all bent out of shape trying to grab a piece of the action.

What we worry and care about, when we look at it in the larger scale, is often absolute trivia. And with this awareness you can look in awe and celebrate that beauty. Beauty is free, personal harmony is what life is meant to feel like. Babies laughing, flowers blooming, people competing. You don't win business by being tired and grumpy, overworking or over trying. Your relationships won't thrive on taking everything personally, or trying to be someone you are not.

Look for the big picture.

Natures law.

If you are alive then you have been criticised at least once. Criticism is never a fun experience and can many times discourage you. To keep a positive attitude in the midst of criticism you must understand the two areas that criticism comes from.

1. Those who truly believe in you and want to help you.

This type of criticism can oftentimes hurt the most because no one likes to be criticised by those that they are close to and respect. However, you must understand their intentions. If someone really cares about you and wants you to succeed then they won't belittle you when they talk with you. When those close to you give you constructive criticism, listen to what they have to say and if you feel like it is in your best interest then make any adjustments that they may give.

2. Those who don't have your best interest at heart.

This type of criticism can sometimes blindside you because it often comes from people whom you didn't even know were paying attention to what you do in life. Occasionally, what they say might have some truth in it, but most of the time it's best to not even pay attention to what they have to say. You will always have critics in life even if you are doing something great.

In either of these cases, realize that your attitude doesn't have to be affect by criticism. Keeping a positive attitude is a lot like when it rains outside. Just because it rains it doesn't mean that you stay inside; instead, you put on a rain coat or use an umbrella and go outside in spite of the rain. Likewise, when it's raining criticism, don't let that stop you from achieving your goals in life. Just put on a positive attitude and keep the criticism out.

For many people, after being married for a certain amount of time you get comfortable in your relationship. This is not a bad thing, however comfort sometimes leads to a lack of excitement. I myself have been married almost 11 years, and between kids, work and home, it is very easy to put the relationship on the side burner.

It is easy to take the relationship for granted and then we wonder why we feel disconnected. Like anything in your life, if you neglect an area of your life too long, then you forget what it takes to keep it nurtured and alive. Many people naively assume everything is ok, until the relationship has gotten stuck in a ditch. Sometimes it is too late to fix what went wrong, too much time on your own creates two individuals that don't know each other anymore.

Why not put a similar amount of time and energy into your marriage that you put into your work and your family? Why not nurture your marriage and let the other person know how important they are to you and your future? Take some time this week to re-ignite the flame in your relationship. Make it a priority and set aside some uninterrupted time to reconnect and share some laughs!

ACTION STEPS FOR THE WEEK:

1. Remember the past

What did you enjoy doing in the early years? Did you spend time taking walks together? Did you see plays and movies? Did you enjoy a weekly night out at a fun restaraunt? Jot down activities that brought the two of you closer and then commit to scheduling some of those in your life today.

2. Get to know the "now"

Of course with time people change and their interests change. What would be fun for you and your partner today? Have they expressed interest in trying out a new activity? Do they enjoy getting together with other couples? Let your partner know you care by getting on board with an activity that they would truly enjoy.

3. Date nights

Because of the hectic pace of life in general, it is very easy to get consumed with other obligations. Make a commitment to yourself and your partner to schedule in some dates with one another. Meet for lunch. Meet at a favorite restaurant after dinner. Hire the babysitter and leave for the evening. Put it in your calendar like any other activity or it simply won't happen. Enjoy this time and get to know each other all over again!

Good Luck!
Have a great week!

Leslie

Imagine this scene: You are at sea. You are in a small boat. The water is calm and blue, the air is warm and you feel relaxed and at peace. In the distance you can see a beautiful island – green and luscious. You know that if you wait – just let go and wait – the ripples and currents of the water will carry you over to that island where you so very much want to be and to where you feel so drawn. And you know that this will happen in a relaxed and easy way, and that when it does, the timing will be perfect.

Now that you have a really clear picture of this in your mind's eye, just allow that relaxed and easy feeling to wash all over you. Can you hear the water gently breaking against the side of the boat? And perhaps a seagull or two calling as they lazily circle overhead.

Here's another picture for you to consider....

You are at sea. You are in a small boat. The water is calm and blue, the air is warm and you feel relaxed and at peace. So far so good.

There in the distance is that same green and luscious island. It looks beautiful, it has food, water, commodities you seem to be lacking in your little boat now you come to mention it. Now you're desperate to get to that island, so you start paddling like crazy. You have to paddle with your hands as they are the only resources you have. You feel you're getting nowhere, at best going round in circles on top of which you are tired and frustrated. And what about those **** seagulls, are they ever going to keep quiet? The waves are getting higher and the mist is falling. You are losing your way.......

Now briefly allow the feelings from this second picture to wash over you..... is your feeling of unease increasing as you see the island retreating into the mist? Can you hear the waves lashing against your tiny boat?

Your heart is probably beating faster now; maybe those infamous butterflies are in action....

Most people will experience a variety of feelings but the bottom line is that all that frantic action is upsetting the mental, emotional and physiological apple cart.....or in this case rocking the boat.

The reality for many is the routine of working daily in a busy office, frantic medical clinic or perhaps in the hubbub of a school yard. All places where there are deadlines to meet, appointments to be kept, customers and clients to be satisfied. Each day spent paddling frantically in ever more stormy waters. There just never seem to be enough hours in the day. No wonder there are so many working hours lost through dis-ease.

A habit which can develop over years is feeling the need to "keep up" and to spend time racing around like lunatics, becoming irritated, disillusioned and self critical. Then there is predictable exhaustion, discontent and none of this feels good.

What is not always obvious is that there is a choice. We can choose the peace and serenity from whence comes the knowledge that what we desire will inevitably be ours when we detach from the outcome and observe those ripples and currents. The ones that will take us to our own personal version of success.

When we arrive, we will be calm, healthy and still feeling really good as well as being exactly where we want to be.

It is good to know that we all have the capability to choose our mindset by harnessing our imagination and visualising ourselves in our ideal scene. There is much evidence to support the effectiveness of visualisation. For example a 1988 study in the British Medical Journal has shown that visualisation combined with relaxation not only improves the quality of life in cancer patients but also that it effects breathing, heart rate and blood pressure. A somewhat high profile example of the results of visualisation is the much publicized wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. According to Seventeen magazine,the young Katie fantasized regularly that she would one day marry Tom, picturing herself walking down the aisle on a regular basis. Does this get you really curious about what you can create in your life?

Once we are aware of the fact we do have a choice all we have to do is ask ourselves where we would rather be. The pleasant lagoon or the storm? With practice and the help of our boundless imagination we can become aware of our emotions minute by minute, choosing calm and peaceful action that allows the realisation of our vision, no matter whether it is for our business, for our personal life or simply a vision of how we would like to get to the end of today.... It works the same way for visions of all sizes.

Success is many different things to infinite numbers of people and to succeed takes energy and commitment. It is probably safe to say that most would prefer to take these effective and healthy steps to achieve a peaceful mindset:

• Take a few minutes at the beginning of each day to relax while you set an intention ...what exactly is the day you would prefer to have?

• Visualise your day. Make a clear detailed picture in your mind of how your day will look, sound and feel.

• Every now and again throughout the day, check back, observe yourself and make any necessary adjustments. ....breathe in that beautiful island across calm waters.

• Celebrate your achievements....you deserve it!

And after all, when you think about it, we're all in the same boat one way or another so let's "be the change" and travel in peace.

One of the most difficult things for people to do is forgive others for their mistakes, transgressions or errors in judgment.

Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook for their behavior. Forgiveness doesn't say, what you did was O.K. or acceptable. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook and releasing its negative hold on your emotions, feelings or attitudes. When you cannot forgive another person, and again it is not whether they deserve it or not, these negative inner feelings will resonate out to all of your relationships. It can be manifested in many ways: your lack of trust of others, your unwillingness to be vulnerable, your concern for being hurt again etc.

The value of forgiveness is for you and not necessarily the other person. For example, let's say your parents did something to you years ago and you have not been able to forgive them for some reason. Let's also say that they have passed away. How can you forgive them? Isn't it too late? Yes, it is too late to tell them you forgive them. They have died. But it is not to late to send forgiveness to them, thereby releasing the grief, pain or anxiety that holding on to this lack of forgiveness causes you.

Why is it so hard for people to forgive others? Do we really need to hold on to any un-forgiveness about anything anyone has ever done or said to us? When we believe someone needs our forgiveness we are assuming that they did something to hurt, disappoint us or cause us pain of some kind. Often these people didn't do what they did intentionally. They were just acting out their imperfect human role and unfortunately did or said something that you feel was improper, inappropriate, wrong – whatever.

Everyone is just doing the best they can to get through this life with as little stress, heartache, and trouble as they can. When someone hurts us or causes us pain is it because we had too high of an expectation for them? Does this issue really belong to us or is it theirs? One of the greatest causes of disappointment is the unrealized expectations of another person's behavior.

Sooner or later everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. It is inevitable. Does this mean then that we will always be needing to forgive others all the time for everything? That would take far too much energy and concentration to make sure I didn't forget to forgive someone for something. Or, would a better approach be, to understand that these people did not mean to hurt you. They are not setting out to give you grief, but to just get through their life's circumstances, dramas or issues as best they can. (We are talking here about most people now. Yes, I will agree that there are people who have made it their life purpose or mission to hurt us, invalidate us, and in some way reek havoc in our lives)

To see yourself as a victim is to wish your circumstances are to continue.

Who do you need to forgive and why? Remember forgiveness is not about the other person or what they did or didn't do, it is about who you are and who you are becoming, how you are growing and relieving yourself of the negative residual health, emotional and relationships issues that can be caused by failing to forgive someone.

Believe me, I do not condone violence when a young student is gunned down in the hall of some high school. I do not condone a drunk driver maiming an innocent pedestrian for life. Bad things to happen to good people. I do not know why. But, when you choose to carry un-forgiveness around for the rest of your life you are give even more power to that person to control your emotions, feelings and life. They are not worth it, Let it go. Who or what do you need to forgive so you can move on?